CHAPTER TWO

Agitated and frustrated with his professional and personal life, Subaru sat on a crate off stage waiting to go onstage.  No matter how much his feeling grew for the object of his desire—standing across the room attentively listening to what another suit wearing executive was whispering in her ear—Riya would see him as an inexperienced kid.

Subaru knew she was attracted to him; he could sense it.  His youthful body hardened even now as she cast him a sexy, kittenish gaze over the older man’s shoulder.  Yes, she was just five years older than he, but her experience in the game of teasing and sexual manipulations was far beyond anything he could comprehend.

Even though he has been in the music industry seriously since he was seventeen, his mother and management group had done really well at keeping him for the most part sheltered.  The only time he had put his foot down and rebelled was when Riya asked him to join her band.  She had led him to believe she wanted him to be a part of her band because of the attraction they shared.  Yet every time he hinted at any form of intimacy between them, she reminded him that she wasn’t sexually attracted to inexperienced boys. 

Where the hell was he to get this experience she required if he was working all the time under the strict rules of the record label?  The band’s interactions with the fans were limited and to be kept strictly professional at all times.  If anything were to happen regarding a band member casting a bad light on the star, the band would be disbanded.  So it wasn’t only your own career you had to worry about, it was everyone else’s.

Still, how could he gain experience if he wasn’t allowed to date the only girls he came in contact with on a daily basis?  His manager offered him a professional woman in the art of sex but Subaru didn’t want his first kiss, his first sexual encounter to be callously given to a stranger.  It was why he wanted Riya.  He’s known her since the beginning.  She started out as a backup dancer the same time he started with his first band; only she has managed to sail through the ranks quickly graduating from the background to headline her own live shows.

At first Subaru was flattered when she wanted to take him along for the ride, after all they were friends...inseparable.  He gave up the chance to headline his own band to stay by her side, but somewhere along the trip to the top, she outgrew him and their times together almost never happened until she wanted something from him.  His music.

Riya had it all going for her; beauty, talent, poise and sexuality, but she couldn’t produce.  All her music had to come from outside sources.  All her chart and award winning hits came from him, a virginal inexperienced twenty year old kid.  Boy, wouldn’t that make a headline for the fans?

“Na kimi!  Hey, kid!  Subaru-chan, did you hear me?”

Subaru turned slightly on the crate and looked over his shoulder at the roadie calling his name. 

“Ossu?  What’s up?” He asked.

“Nee-chan, in the dressing room dude.”

“My sister? Okasan?”

“No, your mom isn’t with her but some fine ass Black--”

Subaru was on his feet before the Roadie finished his sentence in a jog to the band’s dressing room, oblivious to Riya’s surprised stare.  She made her way over to the roadie.

“Where is Subaru running off to?  We are about to start,” Riya asked.  Feeling exposed in the costume she wore for her performance, she crossed her arms over herself.

He noticed her movement and snorted on a chuckle.  “I didn’t see you trying to cover your breasts a moment ago,” he remarked.

“I asked you where Subaru was going,” she repeated refusing to acknowledge his comment.   

“His sister is visiting.”

“Minako-san, here in Los Angeles?”  A frown creased her smoothed lily white powdered brow.  “I wonder if something’s happen since he ran off like that to see her.  Did she seem upset?”

“She seemed fine to me.  His sister is as pretty as Subaru-chan, ne?”

“You really shouldn’t overstep,” Riya warned.

“All I can say is either Subaru-chan was happy to see his sister or he was very happy that she brought her pretty friend with her.”  The Roadie grinned at the twisted pleasure he received from seeing the startled look on the woman’s face.  She deserved to see the kid wise up to the game she was playing with him and find someone else.

“Who is she?”

“How should I know?”  He shrugged his bony shoulders.  “She’s Black.”

“That must be Sadie.”

“Sadie who?” He asked.

“She’s no one.” Riya chin lifted a notch.  “She’s Minako-san’s best friend from college.  They are roommates in New York.  She’s is more or less just a friend of the family.”

“Ah, soka, I see,” he nodded.  “This woman obviously is a family friend Subaru-chan is anxious to see again.”

“Why?  Just because he hurried out of the room?”

“Yes and it’s also the first time I’ve known him to leave you alone in a room with another man,” the Roadie smirked.  “I suppose your puppy guard dog has a better bone to nibble on tonight.”

  “It’s not what you think.  She watched after him when her and his parents went to spend time with Minako-san in France.  He thinks of her as another nee-chan, big sister.  I know he emails her from time to time.”

“Ah, so you are more interested in the kid, then you let on.  If that is the case, why do you keep him on a long leash?”

“Why is this any of your business?”

“Warine, my bad.  It’s not my business but I’m perhaps the only other person on this tour that somewhat likes you besides Subaru-chan,” He muttered.  “And he only fancies you because he’s too naïve to see what the rest of us see.”

“Which is what exactly?”

“Your ambition is where your heart is.  It makes you incapable of being loyal to just one man, Riya-san.”

She moved to slap his face and he grabbed her wrist and held it before it could make contact.  “I should have you fired for your impertinence.”

“If I worked for you, I’m sure you would have done so a long time ago,” he gave her a roguish wink.

“You bastard!”

“Kawaisō, you poor thing.  I suppose eventually you will fuck the one that hired me.  From what I hear, you make men do crazy things to get you in their bed, kitten, so I’m sure my boss will fire me if you ask.  But you see, I’m not too worried because you like having me around.  With me you don’t have to pretend to be Japan’s Pop Sweetheart.”

“Let go of me.”  Riya pierced him with a hard stare.  He released her wrist.  “Don’t you have work to do?”

“I suppose I could recheck Subaru-chan’s guitar station since he’s...busy.”

“I think it would be better if you tell Subaru-kun he needs to check his own station,” Riya coyly suggested.  “You know how meticulous he is about his guitars.”

“Hai, yes, I do know.  This is why he only allows me to handle them.”  His thin upper lip curled up in a sneer.  “I know you could care less since you never bothered to ask, but I am a professional musician also. Boku wa Youya da, my name is Youya, and I am Subaru-chan’s back-up on this tour, so you might want me to be his stand-in for other things too.”  

“It will never happen.  Just do your job and if you know what is best for you, you will stop looking at me that way,” she snapped.  Her trembling fingers smoothed a stray lock of auburn dyed hair behind her ear.  “All it would take is an implication to Subaru-kun that you made advances towards me and if the management group has to get rid of one of you, it won’t be him.” 

Her painted ruby-red lips parted in a smile.  “You have no idea the trouble I can arouse, Youya-san.  Now get out of my sight.”  Riya demanded.

Youya moved in closer and looked her in the eyes.  “Remember this advice, Riya-san...You shall reap what you sew.”

“You can bank on it.”  Her surgically perfect nose wrinkled in distaste before she turned her back to him in dismissal.  “I’m only just beginning to get my heart’s desire.” 

Riya didn’t usually get angered so easily; or at least she didn’t allow anyone to see it when she was angry.  This time she slipped.  Seeing the way Subaru rushed out of the room without hesitation or a backward glance over his shoulder gave her pause for concern.  Maybe, she had overplayed her “hard-to-get” hand with him.  No, she usually wasn’t wrong about these things.

Riya Matsuda learned at an early age, a female’s sexuality was a means of survival in a man’s world and men would do anything for sex.  Subaru was the first innocent she thought to take advantage of.  It was his music that drew her to him.  He had the gift of writing songs and playing several instruments and she had the inability to master either one of them.  She was envious and realized the only way to possess his talents was to possess his heart.  She easily seduced him with promises of more to come and he followed her around like a pet puppy; even leaving his own career behind to make sure she achieved her dreams.  It was the most unselfish thing any man has ever done for her.

Although Subaru was five years younger than Riya, he was fifteen years younger than the men she usually invited into her bed, all for the greater purposes--agents, producers, record executives, even the best musicians, radio DJ’s to get them to play her songs more.

So yes, Subaru was inexperienced, but he too had his uses.  She encouraged him to fall in love with her and it made her woman’s heart happy.  Yet, not so happy that she would be willing to be committed and loyal only to him and this is what he was asking of her; so she kept him out of her bed.  Riya couldn’t chance breaking his heart to the point he would be unable to write beautiful music.  She needed this from him more than his cock.

Though it didn’t seem it at times because of his assuredness in his music and his ability to make one forget he was only twenty-years-old when in his company, Subaru still was inexperienced and lacked awareness of his own sexual appeal to the fairer sex.   There wasn’t a woman that didn’t see Subaru and not immediately cream her panties.  He was handsome to the point of surreal beauty and dumbstruck distraction.  When the spotlight hit him during a solo, the fans would go wild, females and males alike.  If his face didn’t catch you in the magic that was Subaru, his guitar playing would. 

Albeit, some women that ran in her circle considered him a bit too feminine in his features, preferring their men a bit more rugged and masculine.  She would wager a bet that he would steal their souls within five minutes of a performance.

They quickly laughed her off and wagered the bet only to lose their money the moment her Subaru opened those full and perfect cherry lips to sing.  Even if a woman could resist his beauty, none could resist the alluring huskiness of his voice.  It was amazing that such depth could come out of one tall and thin frame.  If the voice still wasn’t enough, when he sets aside his guitar, removes his shirt and pulls the rubber-band from his ponytail and allow his midnight shoulder length hair to fall into his face and proceeds to gyrate his lean hips and dance with beautiful fluid movements about the stage, then the audience is his for the taking.  His sexy body was defined muscles over bones, perfection in motion with the ass like that Russian dancer, Baryshnikov.  What more could a woman ask for besides success and money?

Riya felt a familiar moist stirring between her thighs thinking about Subaru.  She wanted him and for this moment thinking he could desire someone other than her, made her want him more.  It was selfish she knew for she took lovers at will, but he was hers and she wasn’t going to share him; especially with some Black bitch that causes his eyes to shine and his lips to smile just when he discusses how she was the reason he decided to add professional dance to his repertoire of talents.

Shit.  She has heard much about this Sadie since meeting Subaru.  Riya had thought the woman who is ten years older than Subaru and of the Black American race couldn’t possibly be a threat.  She was just a fond memory of his.  She was like another elder sister in his life.  Riya would make sure there would never be anything else between the two.

She hadn’t felt the least bit threatened by Subaru’s occasional email to the woman because she was in America and Subaru was in Japan.  Now it was different.  She had inadvertently, in her pursuit of success, put the man that helped get her this far with his music into reaching distance of her.  Sadie.  

Why did it not occur to her that if Subaru was sending the woman birthday gifts and such that she would still be best friends with his sister?  Why hadn’t she remembered she and his sister were still flat mates in New York City before now?  No, she shouldn’t be concerned, not yet.  First, she would meet the woman for herself and see Subaru’s interaction with her.

All she knew was she would never return to the hard life she had lived as a half breed growing up in Japan.  Riya had been abandoned by her Norwegian father when she was four and placed in an orphanage at age six when her Japanese mother remarried.  She learned early in life that her beauty and her appeal to the opposite sex would assure she would never want for anything again.

Subaru could weaken her woman’s heart if she gave herself over to him, but he could do no more for her career than he was already doing.  He composed beautiful and powerful music but he would probably be no more than just another song writer in a sea of many ten years from now.  His lack of connections in the music business would not get her where she wanted to be in her career.  Still, if she wanted him to continue writing songs for her, she had to do whatever was necessary to hold on to him for as long as she needed him.

+++

“That roadie probably got distracted and didn’t tell my brother we were in here waiting for him,” Minako grumbled after ten minutes had passed.  The cell phone she held in her hand sounded.  She looked down at it and silently read the text message.

“George?”  Sadie asked.

“Yeah, he is out front at the door.  They won’t let him in without a pass,” Minako released a long sigh.

“You go ahead and take care of the George situation and I’ll wait here for Subaru,” Sadie suggested.

“You sure you’re okay in here?  Most of the guys don’t speak English that well,” Minako looked about the spacious room where some were applying stage makeup, meditating, going through sheet music, smoking and conversing quietly amongst themselves.

“I’m fine until I get enough of the cigarette smoke.  Then I’ll move my ass outside the door.  After all this is their space we’re invading.  Besides, this is our normal element.  It’s all good.”

“Okay, I’ll call you on the cell if I need you to have Subaru to come to the front if security gives me a hard time,” Minako explained.

“Will do,” Sadie said.  “I’m sure Subaru will be here shortly.”

“I’ll be right back and while I’m gone why don’t you try and find a date for New Years Eve?”  The other woman said and hurried out the opened door of the dressing room.

“Mind ya business, and go already!”  Sadie laughingly shook her head, shooing her away with her hands.

Sadie walked over to one of the long mirrors and her reflection stared back at her, with a full view of the entrance, so she could still see Subaru when he arrived or if he walked past just in case the roadie hadn’t found him to deliver the message as Minako had suspected. 

She wore the latest Folk Fashion made up of a colorful gypsy wide-tail patchwork skirt, a black vintage “Death to Disco” t-shirt, topped off with a red fringed poncho and a pair of black thick-soled laced-up combat boots.  It was while fingering her med-length corkscrew honey brown curls she caught a studious reflection in the mirror of a very handsome young man staring at her.  It must be one of the band members waiting on the mirror.

“I...I’m sorry, would you like to use the mirror?”  She asked.  Their eyes met in the mirror and her pulse raced with a sense of déjà vu.

“Kurikuri me, Round eyes, you still look just like you did six years ago.”  His deep masculine voice spoke softly.  “Hatachi nimo mieani noni.  You don’t look a day older than twenty.”

Her chin dropped. “It can’t be.”  She whispered and managed to swallow.  Her mouth had gone as dry as the Nevada desert.  “Subu?”

He chuckled softly a sheepish grin on his lips.  “You’re the only one who’s ever called me that.”

“It...It seemed to fit when you were a kid, but now I’m not so sure.”  Sadie froze and gawked.

Sadie wasn’t sure what she expected.  She supposed she expected something remnant of the fourteen-year-old boy she saw six years ago at one of Minako’s family function.  Subaru was always small for his age, but his adorability made up for what he lacked in stature even as a teen, so her expectations had been no more than what it had been when she saw him last.

She never would have imagined that a boy could change so much in six years.  This was definitely not the somewhat shy puny fourteen-year-old boy who wore glasses and braces that she remembered.  He looked as though he had stepped out of Asian Style Magazine.

Subaru’s shoulder length hair was pulled back and secured at the nape of his neck.  His hands were strong with defined veins settled atop, long fingers and clean shortly clipped nails.  He had wonderful hands that held the gift of creating extraordinarily good music.  He wore a white open collared shirt beneath a button down black vest, and black jeans tucked into laced knee boots with silver buckled ornamental designs up the front.

Further search showed medium sized silver loops adorned each ear, black kohl lined Asian eyes, and the most divine nose and lips she’d ever seen on a man.  Eyeglasses were gone.  Braces on his teeth were gone.  He had pretty features defined by a jaw line and mysterious unreadable aura like Johnny Depp and a body that cried “lean and buffed for personal pleasure,” all six feet of him.

All in all, he was androgynous in facial features but his self-asserting masculine stance told the truth of his sex, not to mention the outlined bulge in those tight black jeans.  He shoved his linen shirtsleeves up to the elbow, revealing defined tattooed forearms.  Sadie’s felt a tugging from her belly to her pussy.

“Is that all you have for me after six years, Kurikuri me?  If my memory serves, you were a hugger and since living in Japan I miss that,” he boldly admitted.  “Where is my nee-chan, older sister?”

He walked closer and she turned away from watching him in the mirror to seeing him standing there before her in the flesh.  He was real.  Of course he was.  She never would have imagined that little boy she knew would have grown up to look like this.  Her eyes continued searching for some sign of the little boy she remembered.

“She went to the entrance to vouch for George.  Security wouldn’t let him back here,” Sadie managed to piece together a coherent thought in her suddenly feeble lustful mind.  She couldn’t stop looking at him.  He was simply gorgeous.

“Chichi, Dad, told me he’s acceptable marriage material for my sister.”  A closed lipped grin tugged at the corners of his sensual mouth.  “Is this your opinion also, or do I need to intervene as her brother?”

Sadie eyes dropped to his mouth.  Unwittingly, her tongue snaked out to moisten her lips.  His roguish boyish grin widened and his eyes followed the movement of her tongue.  She gasped at the twinkling mischief of his dark long-lashed eyes.  Was he flirting with her?  Surely not.

“I...I like George.  I believe he’s perfect for Minako.”  She cleared her throat and eased back a step as he invaded her space.  “He’s the calmness to her melodramatic personality.”

“Why are you moving away from me?”  His asked.  “I’m trying to get my usual hug.”

Where had that sexy speaking voice come from?  For a brief moment she wondered if Minako had set up some elaborate hoax that she would see on some television show.  This couldn’t possibly be Subaru.  Not with her feeling this way in her naughty bits. 

“Err...Subu, the way I remembered it is you didn’t like being hugged by me anymore.  The last time I saw you, you let me hug you once.  It was when I first got to your family’s holiday home and after that, you side-stepped all my hugs for the remainder of your stay.”  She arched her head back to look up into his face as he once again closed the space between them.

“It wasn’t the hugs I was avoiding,” he murmured.

“Then what was it?”  Sadie licked her lips.  “Me?”

“Un, yeah, kind of.”  His face reddened.  “Remember how short I was then?”

“Of course,” she laughed softly.  “I used to be able to pull you into a bear-hug and my chin would rest on the top of your head and I would rock from side to side placing noisy kisses on your head.  You hated when I was still able to do that and you were fourteen, but didn’t I tell you there was no reason to fret over the fact that you were shorter than the other girls in your class.  A lot of boys don’t hit their growth spurt until they reach fourteen; yours just was running a bit slow.”

“It’s not the only thing that seems slow about me.”

“What does that suppose to mean?”  Sadie asked.  Her upper lids fluttered with curiosity.

“The reason I didn’t want you to hug me again that holiday we all were together is because that time you hugged me, your full breasts were against my cheek and you smelled so wonderful and warm.  Some...something embarrassing happened to my body.  It was the first time it had happened while I was fully awake.”

“Ah, I see,” Sadie nodded, trying her best not to giggle and embarrass him more.  “I suppose you know now that something like that happening is as normal as your growth spurt, right?”

“Un, yeah, but at fourteen, I felt like an alien in my own body.  I was scared to death that you would, you know, feel it.”

 “Well I didn’t and if I did, I would have pretended otherwise.”  She playfully knuckled his squared jaw in a teasing punch.  “I’m sure you don’t have to worry about having that reaction anymore.  You’re older now.  Besides, I know you think of me as another older sister.”

“Of course.  A sister.”  Subaru assured her clearing his throat.  His eyes skidded to the right avoiding a direct stare altogether. 

Sadie reflected on the sudden tension she felt coming from him.  “Subu, you’ve grown into a very handsome man and I know I emailed you and told you how proud I am of you.  You’ve managed to finish your schooling while playing and travelling in a band and I know it couldn’t have been easy to earn your degree in such a situation.”

“I promised my dad if he would allow me free reins—well, as much freedom that I could have for mother was always there to watch over me—I would keep my word and finish school no matter what.”  His eyes met hers.  “Arigatou, thank you, Sadie-chan,” he said solemnly. 

“It was your encouragement that helped me when I wanted nothing more than to give up learning how to not only be a good musician but learning the business side and how to compose my thoughts into music notes on paper.”

“I made a promise to a quiet, and way too reserved for his age eleven year old boy, that I would always be there for him when no one else was.”  She touched and squeezed his shoulder with a reassuring hand.  “I know how important it is to be an adult that keeps their word.  Especially when so many have let you down before.”

“You saved me, Sadie-chan and you never told a soul what I did.  Not even my sister.”   He reached out and clutched at her hand.  “It means a lot to me that no matter where you are or how busy you are with your career; you never missed emailing me back or returning my calls.”

“Or sending you Birthday and Christmas gifts,” she said with a significant lifting of her brows.

The warmth of his smile echoed in his voice.  “Yes, you never missed a gift giving occasion,” he nodded.  “You could have saved some money if you hadn’t bothered to save me.”

“Don’t even joke about it, Subu,” she chided.  Her smile faded at the memory.

It was something she had pushed to the back of her mind.  Even now she didn’t want to think or speak of it.  She was just happy at the thought that she went with her instincts and decided to give up going out with Minako and stay in with a kid she hardly knew at that time.  When he quietly and properly introduced himself with a stiff bow, she caught the expression in his currant-black eyes.  They seemed to plead for friendship.  She knew that look well.  She’d seen it in her own eyes many times after moving from the only small town she ever lived in to her aunt’s home in California after her granny died.

“Gomen nasai, I’m sorry.”  Subaru touched her cheek; her skin was warm beneath his fingertips.  “I don’t mean to bring you down.”

She nuzzled against his callused hand and with a voice full of concern said, “Subaru, if something is bothering you, you would share it with me wouldn’t you?  You do know no matter how old you get, I am always here for you.”

A strange, faintly eager look flashed in his eyes.  “There is something I do need your help with, but I won’t tell you until I get my hug!”  Subaru laughingly grabbed her by the wrist and drew her against him wrapping his long arms about her in a bosoming embrace.  She felt her feet leave the ground causing a schoolgirlish squeal to leave her lips.  She laughingly held on to him.

“Subu, c’mon now, let me down.  People are staring,” she quietly hissed at him.

“Just the band.  No worries.” 

“Still,” she laughed.  “Put me down.  I want you to tell me what I can help you with.  I take it you don’t want your parents to know?”

His hands were on her hips lifting her higher as if they were in the midst of a dance move.  Sadie’s breathing became heavy as Subaru let her slide slowly down the length of him until they stood toe to toe.  She was fully aware of the erection as she slid down.  She could see by the redness of his ears that he was aware that she was aware and as she promised, she pretended she felt nothing and took a step back brushing his hands from her hips.

“You’re right.  I think I will have to ask you to keep yet another secret between us,” he replied.

It took Sadie a moment to realize he was answering her question.  She was completely floored that this magnificent specimen of a man was “Little Subu.”  Definitely not little anymore or from what she felt anywhere on that delicious body. 

He had changed so much; not only physically but there was this awareness of his masculinity, his attractiveness and his appeal to women.  She was sure being a musician had a lot to do with the change, but she was more curious to how much Riya Matsuda had to do with Subaru’s change.  Were they lovers?  Over the years he had mentioned dating someone a time or two, only to have it nixed by his record label when it got too serious.

She dropped her eyes from the curiosity she saw in his as if he was searching for the answer to a question he had yet to ask.  She feared Subaru would see how physically attracted she was of him.  It was embarrassing.  He was her best friend’s little brother and now that he was older, a close confident too.  Even if she could get completely past the protective nurturing feelings she had for him, it wouldn’t alter the fact that she would be ten years older than he was in two months time.

Sadie sadly felt she had no right to think of him as a grown man, or to savor the imprint his body seemed to leave on her flesh and her calm sanctity.  Stop this Sadie.  Her common sense must remain a viable factor.  Shit.  Minako was right about her coming out of her self-imposed celibacy period.  She needed sex.  If she had a lover, she would not be having these thoughts about this man-child standing in her personal space.

“Alright, I won’t tell anyone.”  She nodded.  “Tell me what’s going on?” 

“I need you.”  He frowned and looked away.  His fingers intertwined with hers.  “I will understand if you say no, but I don’t know who else to turn to.  I hope that you won’t be too offended by what I’m going to ask you to do.”

Now she was concerned.  Minako said their mother told her something was bothering Subaru and she imagined his behavior of late had something to do with this conversation.   She just prayed whatever trouble he was in, it wasn’t too serious.  Still, whatever it was, it was serious enough he didn’t feel he could turn to his family to ask.” 

“Subu, I am here for you,” she assured him.  “Just say it already.”

“Sadie-chan, will you--”

“Shiyōze asobō!   C’mon, Guys, time to party!”  A voice called out from the doorway.  “It’s show time.  Let’s go...let’s go!  And Subaru, Riya-san wants you to do your newest solo tonight to close the show.”

“Why tonight when she was against it all the others?”  He frowned.  “Is it that she wants it or is she trying to sell a new song to the American record executive bastard she was drinking with at the bar?”

“Go ask her.”  The other man shrugged.  “I’m just the messenger.”

Subaru curses softly. “Sumimasen, excuse me, Sadie-chan, time for work.”

“Is this how you feel about performing now?”

“What?”

“Like it’s just a job?”

“It is a job like any other,” he looked away.

“It’s not how you use to feel when you had your own band and it was your talent in the limelight not Riya’s.”

He remained quiet a moment and when he spoke again he said, “You and my sister have reserved seats.  There should be an extra there for George.  We will talk more. Riya is waiting for me.”

“Subaru, she can wait!” She grabbed his hand and held it.  “You can’t leave me like this.  What were you going to say before we were interrupted?  Tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t think telling you right at this moment is going to help my cause,” Subaru murmured. 

“Huh?”  Sadie blinked a few times.

“I need a more private setting, Sadie-chan.”

“Oh for goodness sakes, just say it!” 

“It...It’s not just something you blurt out on the run, Sadie-chan,” Subaru said.

“Try,” she countered.

“Subaru!”  They both turned to look at the door “Riya-san needs you on stage now!”   He spoke with a heavy accent.

“Tell her I’m coming!”  Subaru shouted.

“What you want me to do?  She told me to bring you back with me and you know how she is.” 

“Tell her I’ve waited on her and now for once she can return the favor!”  Subaru noticed the surprise in Sadie’s eyes, and spoke again this time in a calmer tone. “Gomen,” he apologized with a contrite bow of his dark head.  “Tell her to give me five minutes and if she can’t than tell Youya he can do the first set for me, ne?” 

The other man looked between Subaru and Sadie and down at their clasped hands.  Sadie quickly released his hand.  She didn’t want to be the cause of any rumors that could make things difficult for Subaru.  He could be involved with the star of the show and if so she didn’t want to be the cause of a spat between them when she hadn’t even met the woman.  Subaru was special to her and she wanted to get along with whomever he chose to share his life with.

“Go,” she urged softly.

His dark eyes raked over her face before he looked over at the other man.  “Go ahead, I’m right behind you.”

The man nodded and they were alone again.

“Sadie-chan, I care very much for Riya, but she is older than me and use to more experienced men,” he stated earnestly.  “I feel as if I can’t compete and my lack of experience in these matters makes me clumsy and because I lack confidence I can’t go to her and declare my feelings for her.”

She stood there, blank, amazed, and very disappointed that Minako’s assumption of her brother’s feelings for the singer Riya was correct.  She felt as if her emotions were contradicting the calmness she was exuding.  She couldn’t deny there was an abhorrent feeling of jealousy.  A jealousy she had no right to.

“I need your help,” Subaru said.  “I need you to teach me how to please a woman.”

Sadie stared wordlessly at him, her heart pounding. 

“Subaru, do you know what you’re asking?”

“Are you a virgin too?”

“No, but do realize why I would be the wrong person to do this for you,” she said.  The breathlessness in her voice made it sound as if it belonged to someone else.  “Don’t you?”

“I’ve never even had my first kiss yet,” he confessed.  “You know how special that is.  It’s not that I didn’t have opportunities; it’s just as long as I feel as if I will be bad at it the more scared I am to try it.  I know with you I will be comfortable and you are the most patient woman I know...”

“Subu, I don’t know,” she shook her head.

“You were the first girl to become my friend.  You were the first to teach me how to dance.  Why can’t you be the first to teach me how to be a man?”

Oh the more he talked the wiser he sounded, but that’s because secretly she was thrilled at the thought of teaching him the pleasure, to see the stirring of passion in his eyes, to see the first throes of agonizing ecstasy on his handsome face when he ejaculated from her touch.  It was too tempting for words.

“I got to go.  Just think about it.  Please!”  His eyes met hers despairingly and to her surprise he leaned down and pressed his mouth to hers.  His eyes open, hers eyes wide in shock.  The kiss was chaste and dry, but his lips were unbelievably soft.  “See,” he straightened.  His top lips thinned into smile.  “Just being with you makes me feel brave enough to at least try.  It has to be you Sadie-chan.”

With that he turned on his heels and jogged out the door.

Sadie touched her fingers to her mouth.  She could still feel the warm childlike sweetness of his given first kiss; hers and Subaru’s first kiss. 

Oddly enough she felt as stupefied as she did the first time she was kissed while standing in the doorway of Mrs. Brown sixth grade classroom on the last day of school with a mouth full of bubblegum.  Her first kiss had been stolen by the bully of the classroom and he was the first boy to make her cry when she found out he did it only to win a bet he made with other boys in the classroom.  She had been thankful it was the last day of school and at the end of summer when she started school again she would be attending separate Junior High Schools and she would never have to see him again.

She also had her innocence stolen from her from a boy she thought she trusted because she had known him almost three years before they started dating.  He was nice, went to her Aunt’s church, and she went out with him because of her Aunt’s blessing.  She should have been suspicious when her aunt had become so attentive and motherly for the first time since she had arrived into her care. 

Sadie eyes closed willing the haunting thoughts to subside.  This was not the time or place for her to dwell in the past.   She was no longer that person and she had a good like taking care of herself.

As Sadie slowly made her way out of the dressing room a smile lingered on her closed lips.  This beautiful young man was offering her a do over.  He was unknowingly giving her a chance to experience her firsts over again vicariously through him.   Could she?  Dare she?  What if it ruined what they had now?  The scoundrel did leave her with much to think about.

Coming soon to Lulu!