responded matter-of-factly.

“My dad is a heart surgeon and my mother is a lawyer.”

“Very ambitious and admirable professions.”

“My parents are amazing.” She smiled. “They encouraged us to make high

goals for ourselves, then reach higher and make the choices that will keep you

fulfilled for years to come, just in case you get stuck doing it.” I love them most

for understanding that my dream to be in the entertainment field is what I want,

even though they had hoped for something they considered more secure.”

“It must be satisfying to go after your dreams with the full support of your

family.” Kane said and the envy was evident in his voice.

“Wasn’t your parents supportive of you?”

“My mother did. She gave me my first guitar when I was four and because I

had this ability of playing exactly what I heard without lessons, she introduce me

to the piano when I was six and this time with a tutor. She said she didn’t want

me playing instruments without the ability to read and write music.” He paused.

“I have her to thank for giving me something to fall on, without those skills I

probably would have ended up homeless in the streets, but instead my skills

afforded my father the opportunity to unload me on to my manager Takusa-san

and the best English boarding schools.”

“Your mother allowed your father to do that to you? How old were you? Why

would he do that to you?” Charlene asked surprised by his admission.

“My mother died when I was ten. I was twelve when my father sent me away

and I guess it was because I didn’t appreciate my new step-mother, who had been

my father’s mistress.” Kane answered bitterly.

Charlene heart opened to him and she wished she were there to hold him. That

was one disadvantage of communication over the telephone. She didn’t have the

words to let him know how sincere she felt about what happened to him and “I’m

sorry” didn’t seem to be enough. She chose to not say anything.

“I want to hear more about your life with your family,” he broke the silence.

“Well, even though my father was supportive he wasn’t happy with my

choices.” Charlene laughed. “You should have seen his face when I chose music

journalism. My goal was to group both my loves together. When I told my father

he asked me, ‘what are you going to do, sing to the people when you interview

them?’” she said in her best deep “father” voice.

Kane laughed. Knowing she could make him laugh made Charlene feel warm

all over.

“That was his way of joking with you, of course.”

“Oh yeah, he knew, but I must have changed my mind twenty times before I

finally graduated with my Bachelors in music. The only thing that kept me from

going crazy in school and trying to maintain a long distant relationship with my

boyfriend at that time was reading romance novels.”

“Now you write them,” he commented.

“Oh man, reading them drove me to want to make some additions to my

career. I became so frustrated when I read book after book of women living

‘happily ever after’ and none of them looked like me, I added more courses and

received a Fine Arts degree in writing. In hopes that I could not only change the

romance writing industry I wanted to change the movie industry too, so I went

responded matter-of-factly.

“My dad is a heart surgeon and my mother is a lawyer.”

“Very ambitious and admirable professions.”

“My parents are amazing.” She smiled. “They encouraged us to make high

goals for ourselves, then reach higher and make the choices that will keep you

fulfilled for years to come, just in case you get stuck doing it.” I love them most

for understanding that my dream to be in the entertainment field is what I want,

even though they had hoped for something they considered more secure.”

“It must be satisfying to go after your dreams with the full support of your

family.” Kane said and the envy was evident in his voice.

“Wasn’t your parents supportive of you?”

“My mother did. She gave me my first guitar when I was four and because I

had this ability of playing exactly what I heard without lessons, she introduce me

to the piano when I was six and this time with a tutor. She said she didn’t want

me playing instruments without the ability to read and write music.” He paused.

“I have her to thank for giving me something to fall on, without those skills I

probably would have ended up homeless in the streets, but instead my skills

afforded my father the opportunity to unload me on to my manager Takusa-san

and the best English boarding schools.”

“Your mother allowed your father to do that to you? How old were you? Why

would he do that to you?” Charlene asked surprised by his admission.

“My mother died when I was ten. I was twelve when my father sent me away

and I guess it was because I didn’t appreciate my new step-mother, who had been

my father’s mistress.” Kane answered bitterly.

Charlene heart opened to him and she wished she were there to hold him. That

was one disadvantage of communication over the telephone. She didn’t have the

words to let him know how sincere she felt about what happened to him and “I’m

sorry” didn’t seem to be enough. She chose to not say anything.

“I want to hear more about your life with your family,” he broke the silence.

“Well, even though my father was supportive he wasn’t happy with my

choices.” Charlene laughed. “You should have seen his face when I chose music

journalism. My goal was to group both my loves together. When I told my father

he asked me, ‘what are you going to do, sing to the people when you interview

them?’” she said in her best deep “father” voice.

Kane laughed. Knowing she could make him laugh made Charlene feel warm

all over.

“That was his way of joking with you, of course.”

“Oh yeah, he knew, but I must have changed my mind twenty times before I

finally graduated with my Bachelors in music. The only thing that kept me from

going crazy in school and trying to maintain a long distant relationship with my

boyfriend at that time was reading romance novels.”

“Now you write them,” he commented.

“Oh man, reading them drove me to want to make some additions to my

career. I became so frustrated when I read book after book of women living

‘happily ever after’ and none of them looked like me, I added more courses and

received a Fine Arts degree in writing. In hopes that I could not only change the

romance writing industry I wanted to change the movie industry too, so I went

back and took some courses of screenwriting.”

“I thought I was an overachiever.” He chuckled.

“Well, I didn’t say I made the honor roll, I was happy with passing. Dad

wasn’t, he wanted me to make honors, but I just wanted to get started doing my

music professionally and sell my short stories.” Charlene sighed. “I was sick to

death of school.”

“You mention your father more than you do your mother.”

“Do I?” A frown light puckered her eyebrows. “I suppose it’s because my

mother set her career aside for the sake of the family. She was there when you

needed nurturing and she was the cushion between us and dad’s temper.”

“Your father was abusive.”

She heard a note of anger in his voice and said quickly. “No…no, my father

is a sweetheart with the voice of a drill sergeant. He was the disciplinary, but not

cruel. I think his military career background causes him to run his house like a

barrack, but he has chilled out a lot since I was a kid,” she said reflectively. “I

suppose having the twins late in life did that?”

“Your brother and sister.”

“Yes, brats the both of them. Jaycee and Kayla. I tell you when you are twenty

and pregnant again, it can require therapy,” she murmured satirically.

“I did therapy, but I didn’t take it serious.” Kane laughed. “After a stint in a

mental ward for a few months with a few of those doctors, I actually thought I

was the only sane one in the place.”

“Kane…” Her voice died away.

“No big deal. Really, it was just a warning from my father that I should do as

I was told or my life could get so much worse.” His voice, though nonchalant,

was husky with emotions. “After you got into writing screenplays, what

happened?” He changed the subject.

Charlene swallowed back the tears that tightened the back of her throat. “I…I

was fortunate enough to get a job on a television drama as a writer for the

experience. I was writing songs for my boyfriend’s band and started pulling in

enough royalties that I could stay at home and write full time. Soon I was making

enough to produce my own independent films that went to television, so even if

they didn’t have much commercialism I was gaining experience.”

“Now, you are an award winning composer, best-selling author doing your

first international featured film. You should be proud,” he commented. “And

happy. Are you happy, Charlene?”

“Trust me, coming to this point in my life didn’t come easy and after an

incident that I don’t care to discuss, I didn’t think I would ever be able to move

forward.” She rattled off nervously.

“But are you happy?” he asked again.

Charlene paused to think about it. Was she happy? She should be, but for

some reason she wasn’t as happy as she had been, once. Even then, when things

weren’t the best it could be, she had been happy but now…

“Charlene?”

“Yes, I’m happy,” she lied softly. “Why wouldn’t I be? As you pointed out,

my life is…good. I have a family that loves me, my best friend, Sharon is the

best and oh yeah, Abe, is my lifeline.”

“Abe?”

“Goda-kun, that’s Abe. He is one of my managers, my main manager and

close friend. I have much to thank him for, he saved my life,” she confessed, her

voice softening.

A light frown marred her features as she questioned why she was telling him

all of her business. She wasn’t one to open up easily, but for some reason it felt

easy doing so with him.

“I see,” he said in a rush of breath. There was a seemingly long pause before

he asked, “This Goda-kun is your boyfriend?” He spoke so softly she wondered

if she’d heard him correctly.

Charlene started to explain, but she realized to do so would open a door for

more questions about her past that she didn’t want to discuss with someone she

was just getting to know.

“Enough of me. I read that you come from an elite family of businessmen and

real estate moguls. So I would have thought your father would have pushed to

groom you for the family business, as usually the case in Japan.”

“That’s true and my father wanted me to be an exact clone of him.” He

paused. “I suppose I would have considered it, but I would have had to respect

the man to want to emulate him. Besides, I was more like my mother, “a born

dreamer with illusions of foolishness” so my father says.”

“You know you are so much more than that, don’t you, Kane. My God, you’re

deemed a musical genius in our business, your ability to play so many

instruments modern and traditional and at such an early age will go down in the

history books of talented musicians, trust me.”

When he remained quiet she continued, “No reason to thank me. You should

be proud of the countless songs that you’ve written. As well, the numerous

awards you’ve received from all over the world and all of this, under the age of

thirty. And you’re young enough to even achieve much more.” Charlene said

passionately feeling a sense of dissociation to be lying partially naked across her

bed soothing the ego of an International Pop Star. “Your father should be proud.”

“Yeah, well, he has my older brother.” Kane let out a long, audible sigh.

“I see.”

“Ryugo is very much like my father and my father is contented as long as he

has him and my younger sister Kotomi. I stopped trying to make him proud years

ago.”

She realized there was nothing she could say that would ease the mental

anguish Kane’s father must have inflicted on him and at such a young age. She

wasn’t able to justify another person’s actions. She couldn’t imagine a parent

disassociating themselves from their own blood. That would never happen in her

family, no matter what they do. There parents would be displeased by their

actions, but never stop being their parents. However, this was something Kane

and his father would have to want to work out between them.

Charlene couldn’t possibly give him advice when she didn’t even know all

the facts; all she really knew about Kane up until now, rested in a file upon her

desk. A file of press releases, news clippings, and photos of a young man that

seemed to own the love of the world in his hands. None of this told her about

Kane’s more personal or human side. Yet, as he spoke to her she could hear the

same insecurities that everyone experienced at one time or the other.

What Charlene found stranger than her curiosity about him, was his

willingness to share such personal information with her.

“Kane—”

“Can we discuss something else?” Kane interrupted, clearly feeling

uncomfortable after his admission.”

“Kane, are you okay?”

Stillness settled between them until his soothing voice cut the silence.

“Charlene, do you want to know what isn’t written under my list of

accomplishments? I’m a compulsive perfectionist, an overachiever, and I intend

to work hard to please others in order to overcompensate for my lack of social

skills.”

“Kane—”

“I suppose I should be use to being alone by now.” He continued as if he

hadn’t heard her say his name. “The last time I ever truly felt loved for who I

truly am was with my mother,” he explained. “It seems that everyone else wants

something from me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah me too. I shouldn’t have disturbed you at home but I truly didn’t have

anyone I wanted to talk to but you. Today is the anniversary of my mother’s

with him. I don’t even know how he could do such a thing.” His voice was cold

and exact. “Didn’t the bastard hurt my mother enough when she was alive? Why

shame her memory by bringing that woman? Hell, why did he bother coming at

all, it wasn’t like he loved her!”

“Kane.” Charlene closed her eyes for a moment. She felt as if his pain was

her own. “Don’t worry yourself trying to figure out your father, would it make a

difference if his reasons were good ones?”

“There is no good reason to betray the woman you love and ruin an otherwise

happy home.” He grounded the words out between his teeth.

“I know you have every right to resent your father, but your mother died some

years ago. I have this odd feeling that something else is going on with you and it

has nothing to do with your family.” She rested the forearm over her eyes. “Do

you want to talk about it?”

“Am I that obvious?”

Charlene replied. “Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not wrong,” Kane admitted. “I’m worried because I’m in

trouble. I haven’t been able to write a new song in over a year. And a new single

was supposed to be released three months ago and I have nothing!”

She snapped her mouth shut, stunned by his admittance. She completely

understood how he was feeling.

“It happens Kane, and it’s not unusual or even something to really be

concerned about because before you know it, you will find your muse again. I

went through the same thing after…” her voice trailed off into silence.

“After what?” he urged her to continue.

“After I…I lost someone I loved very much. For awhile I couldn’t seem to

function or even think properly.” She answered truthfully. “I did well to

remember to get up in the morning, or bathe and comb my hair. Music and

writing are my great ways of healing but at that time it was the last thing I wanted

to deal with.”

“Is this the situation that you said your manager, Abe Goda, help you to deal

with?”

She was surprised that he remembered. “Yes.”

“Charlene, I know that your husband was a highly successful Japanese rock

musician and he committed suicide.”

She held the phone tightly in silence against her ear, her heart pounding.

“I know that had to be hard on you.”

“You couldn’t possibly know how…” her voice broke off in mid sentence.

“My mother took her life. I know the situations aren’t the same, but our pain

is,” he said.

She covered her mouth and swallowed deeply once again caught off guard by

this unpredictable man.

really pushing it by calling you again. Calling you at your home makes it even

you.” He moaned again, sounding like a wayward boy that caught doing

something naughty.

“Kane, it’s okay, really. I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to call and

speak with me. My life isn’t a secret. Everything you said is true. So don’t beat

yourself up about it.” Charlene couldn’t stop the chill that ran up the length of

her spine as memories of another conversation she had with a disheartened

musical genius.

She closed her eyes and swallowed a sob as tears burned in the back of her

eyes.

“Then can I ask you something?”

“Can I stop you?”

“Of course.”

She wanted to say no, but then there was no telling what he had already read

about her, so wouldn’t it be best if she was the one to answer any questions he

may have about that time in her life?

“Charlene, you don’t have to,” he said softly.

“What did you want to ask me?”

“I have read articles that hint of you and your manager as being lovers.”

She had to laugh. “I would think you being an entertainer that has been

romantically tied to male members of your band, your male stylist and let me see

the last pop sensation you did a duet with. So you tell me, is all that information

true about you?”

“That’s a loud and clear, NO,” he murmured satirically.

She giggled. “I love Abe, but he is my best friend and confidant. I wouldn’t

trade that in for a relationship.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

reathing. Some of her sadness evaporated, leaving her strangely flattered by his

interest.

“You’ve become very quiet,” he said in a low, composed voice. “I hope my

forwardness—”

“No…no, I’m just a bit surprised at how much we covered in this short time.”

She responded quickly.

“Actually, we’ve been on here for a little over two hours.”

“What!” Charlene looked at the clock it was 2:10 am. She didn’t remember

the last time she talked on the phone with anyone this long. Yes she did. It was

with Jason. They use to speak like this on the phone until one or the other fell

asleep when he was on the road and she couldn’t be with him.

“Sorry, I know I should have said something especially since I know it’s late

there, but this was the only time I didn’t have something scheduled.”

“No problem, but I really need to go to sleep I got to be at my parents in four

hours to help dad with breakfast for the guest.”

“I understand.” His disappointment was clear. She smiled.

He had no idea how sexy his voice sounded. She was a heartbeat away from

saying, “Talk nasty to momma so she can relieve some stress, Baby Boy”. Of

course she didn’t.

In spite of this need to get phone nasty with the gorgeous Kane, Charlene kept

it clean and said, “I need another two weeks to wrap up things here and then I

will come to Tokyo. I’m very interested in seeing you move and perform live.”

“Hai!”

“Kane, don’t just say ‘yes’.” She rolled her eyes. “I need you to get serious,

if you want this part you have to show me you can do it. I’m going to be brutally

honest so if you don’t have what it takes to play Blu, I’m going to let you know

it.

“I don’t expect anything less, Charlene,” he assured her.

‘When I get there be prepared to sing; no perform, a few of the songs from

the arrangements I wrote for the film.”

“I already have,” he answered with staid calmness.

Her smile broadened in approval. “Thank you, Kane.”

“For what? I’m the one who should be thank you for giving me this

opportunity.”

She could tell from the sound of his voice he was smiling too.

“Nevertheless, thank you for calling to check on me and for speaking so

honestly about yourself.”

“Thank you Charlene, for listening and for doing the same.”

“I want you to know as much as I think you are a great guy, I must choose

who will be best portraying my character.” She countered.

“I know,” he spoke in an odd gentle tone, that wasn’t lost to her over the

phone. “It’s not why I was so open with you. As a matter of fact, I don’t know

why I shared so much about myself with you, I think it’s because I feel that if

you could write such soulful songs you must understand some of what I’m going

through.”

“I do,” she spoke softly.

“Charlene?”

“What?”

“Do you mind if I call you again? At home I mean.”

“If you want.” She felt a warm glow flow through her. Even though she

couldn’t see him, she pictured his full lips parting in a smile.

a deep sigh.

Turning onto her side, she pulled her legs up to her chest in a fetal position.

Feeling lonely, naked and vulnerable her lashes fluttered, settled, and locked on

the gilded picture frame on her bedside table. She looked at the face of her

husband, Jason. Forever he was half-smiling in that sexy way of his while the

serenity of their lovemaking still smoldering in his drowsy almond shaped brown

eyes.

Charlene loved the way he looked after making love. She remembered how

he laughed and hid behind his hands to block the camera shot. She told him to

give her that multi-thousand dollar come hither look he gave his fans. He laughed

and told her only if she could sign a contract for none stop blowjobs. That was

her Jason, always laughing and coarse.

Her burning eyes grazed over his dyed auburn locks of hair and reflectively

her fingertips twitched as she remembered the silky thick textures as she pushed

it off his face when he was on top of her. His full mouth was rosy red from her

ardent kisses. As imperfect as he was, she never could imagine choosing to spend

her life with anyone else.

He was beautiful…he was soul mate. After she took his picture, he had held

his arms wide, she fell into them, and he made love to her until she was mindless.

They were so in tune with each other their breathing was coordinated. She figure

that is why when he died, she felt that any moment without him she’d stop

breathing and went through panic attacks.

Charlene remembered the secure strength of his arms and she remembered

when depression hit Jason he would linger on the dark side and not even her love

was enough to keep him grounded. Now she wondered how arms that felt so

strong holding her could belong to a man so weak in many other ways.

She couldn’t believe that after all these years his death was still so raw in her

heart. Tears fell silently from her eyes.

surprised her with a phone call to her home phone, he’d been persistent in calling

her every night before she turned in for bed. No matter what city he was touring

in she could depend on her phone to ring at 9:00 pm every evening like clock

work. Then came the emails, telling her of his day, the interviews and how his

concert went along with pictures. Even though it was a few days away from her

visit, she looked forward to his phone calls and emails. In fact, she felt spoiled

by the attention he was bestowing on her. Of course, it all could be because he

wanted the lead in the movie badly, but than again, he already had that because

her producers weren’t budging.

She wondered if he had been sincere, that if she didn’t want him to play Blu

he would withdraw from the running. There was only one way to know for sure

and that was to tell him she didn’t want him to play the part, but she couldn’t do

that now, because she wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t be good in the role.

In the past week, she had found so many similarities between him and her

deceased husband Jason that it was disconcerting. On the other hand, maybe it

wasn’t a similarity with Jason at all. It was possible Kane was playing the part of

Blu in the real world to convince her that he was capable and because she

immolated Blu after Jason, they seemed eerily similar.

“Okay Charlie, give over. You’ve been looking at that computer screen

grinning for about fifteen minutes. Let me see what you’re staring at.” Sharon

came into the office placing a cup of Charlene’s favorite mint tea on the desk in

front of her.

Charlene jumped at the sound of her assistant’s voice. Aspread of heat stained

her brown cheeks.

“It’s nothing,” she said hitting the exit button and clearing the screen of

Kane’s latest email.

“Nothing? If it was nothing, why did you just clear the screen?” Sharon

placed her hands on her slim hips.

“Have you seen my itinerary of book signing events for the next three months

after I return from Japan?” Charlene made busy adjusting and shuffling the

papers lining her desk.

“Yes, it’s where it’s always been; on the computer in the file marked

itinerary.” Sharon said sarcastically. “So I don’t know why you are pretending to

look on your desk, you don’t print off your schedule you transfer it to your cell

phone calendar.”

Charlene glanced up at the slim sleek blond with not only beauty and boobs

but also brains and attitude straight out of the Bronx. She was an asset that kept

her on time and her work thoroughly edited. Not only was Sharon Lupon her

jackpot assistant, she was also her best friend and for that reason alone, Sharon

had no problems calling it as she saw it.

“You’ve met a man.”

“Share, don’t even go there. I’m not seeing anyone now, or ever.” Charlene

said defensively.

“Yeah, uh huh.” Sharon agreed before saying. “So what’s his name, what does

he do and do I know him?”

“Who is who?” Charlene’s lashes fluttered.

“See, I know when you’re lying because you blink three times in quick

succession.”

“I do not!”

“See, you did it again. You might as well tell me the truth, Charlie, ‘cause you

know I’ll find out once I get to snooping in your business.”

Charlene smiled because Sharon was an ace hacker when it came to

computers and it wouldn’t take her any time at all to crack her latest password.

What could be the harm in telling her, it wasn’t as if she were interested